Brownie and Bozo came up with a new animation for the MakeSweet Blender, featuring a table falling from space with a cake on it. Now that I write that down, it seems a little … odd. I’m not sure if this was the one missing piece that the world was lacking in order to achieve a completely harmonious whole. You can control the image on the cake, and some words that sort of hover nearby it, so I suppose if you made some breathtaking choice of image and words, you might achieve … something. “This is not a pipe“, perhaps? They’ve used it in the past as an elaborate birthday card, apparently.

The movie generation procedure has been improved a bit; you can finally request email notifications (which is important, given that movies can take hours to produce), and it is a bit more obvious how to actually download the result (as opposed to viewing it online).

Enjoy!

Brownie and Bozo just posted a set of tips for long-distance lovers on MakeSweet. They pick out some of the best things to do online if you want to sweep your beloved off their feet. I’m not sure I’m convinced by them all, but I like the idea of personalized lolcats. I’ll have to try that out on Mrs. Bell. Apparently you can also make comics online, although I hope you can come up with better dialog than Brownie and Bozo did.

Also, I could have done without seeing you guys photoshopped into a “Tarzan and his Mate” photo…

The MakeSweet Blender, a tool for making customized 3D movies online, just got a whole lot better. We’re trying to do our bit to bring the possibilities of blender (an open source 3D design and animation program) to the masses. We now have the beginnings of a web interface for customizing designs. Now we just need to recruit some artists to come up with some cool movies. Our in-house talent on this isn’t up to much unfortunately (no offense, Brownie and Bozo). Watch this space, it is going to be fun!

For those not familar with blender, you should check it out. The learning curve is steep, but with just a little patience you can learn to make crazy animations of exploding business models and impress all the other CEOs (or whoever you hang out with).

“In the spring, Jeeves, a livelier iris gleams upon the burnished dove.”

“So I have been informed, sir.”

“Right ho! Then bring me my whangee, my yellowest shoes, and the old green Homburg. I’m going into the Park to do pastoral dances.”

(Wodehouse, “Death at the Excelsior“)

Within our HQ, the debate over the lolcat meme rages. Some feel it is just a passing fad. Some think it has changed our world forever. Some think lolcats are in owr branes, steelin owr thawts. Wherever the truth lies, they certainly make penguins look like parsons, prim and proper.

Well-brought up English cats do not LOL, sir, and we would thank you not to bruit such wild accusations about.

We would join you for a spot of tea though. No? In that case, we bid you good day sir.

We bid you Good Day!

A penguin with a plan. Not a very good plan, I suspect. The intrepid web reporters are all over this breaking story. See, for example, t4td or penguinsandpolarbearsdontmix for sample coverage.

(warning: by “breaking story” we mean “more or less this decade”)

The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart likes to make fun of Cheney’s gruff, no-nonsense manner. But what exactly is he saying?

Hrr grr! Grr ARRR wrhr wrhr. Rrr ARRR? Grr hrr ARRR? ARRR rrr. Grr grr grr grr wrhr. Rrr ARRR! Rrr ARRR hrr ARRR ARRR ARRR rrr? Grr grr hrr. ARRR ARRR. Rrr wrhr grr grr rrr wrhr! Grr grr ARRR grr grr ARRR grr wrhr wrhr ARRR grr rrr. Wrhr ARRR. Grr rrr wrhr! ARRR.

Use the Code Quacker to interpret it.

There’s very little worse than being part of a trapped audience. For example, in his book the Girl on the Boat, Wodehouse notes that:

Ships’ concerts are given in aid of the Seamen’s Orphans and Widows, and, after one has been present at a few of them, one seems to feel that any right-thinking orphan or widow would rather jog along and take a chance of starvation than be the innocent cause of such things. They open with a long speech from the master of the ceremonies - so long, as a rule, that it is only the thought of what is going to happen afterwards that enables the audience to bear it with fortitude. This done, the amateur talent is unleashed, and the grim work begins.

When there’s no competition for an audience, things get ugly. No danger of that on the web, a constant seething roiling battle for attention. That’s a bit of a shame, because I’m intrigued by a vision of every online session on the internet beginning with a long speech from the Master of Ceremonies. Who could be the web’s MC be? Maybe the very reverent Dr. Rev. Google, dressed up in a natty tux:

Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to the internet. We’ve prepared a wonderful web for you tonight, full of juicy Web 2.0 goodness. But before we get down to your actual search, we’d like to first mention some notices about events and happenings on the Good Ship Google. Ms. Blogger, our esteemed entertainments chair, has kindly condescended to organize…

Etc etc. Ok, it would be excruciating. But think of the poor Seamen…