It looks like one half of our technical team, Brownie and Bozo, has started blogging. I don’t understand a word of it, and I’m not really sure why all this is necessary just to put a few bits of text and the odd picture on the web. But he seems to know what he’s doing. That’s good, as it leaves me free for managerial duties. Good. Carry on, Bozo! Keep doing, err, whatever it is you are doing. Only better! And more!

It is now easier to put messages encoded using the code quacker on your blog. When you create your message, there is now some suggested code that you can paste onto a webpage or blog entry. For example:

Your base. All base all. All your all base your. All all all all. All all all. Base all base. Your all. Base all! Your all. Your all your all base your your. All base! All all your? Your base base all base your. Base base all all base base. All base base all? All all! All base all. All base! Base all all base all base! Base all your base all. All your? Base all all all? Base base all all! All base. Base base base. All base? All all all base all all all all all all? Your your all. (decode)

The decode link takes you to the code quacker, passing along the identifier of the paragraph containing the coded message. The quacker then loads your webpage, pulls out the relevant text, and decodes it. Or at least that’s what Brownie and Bozo tell me. I don’t really understand what they are talking about.

Looks like a How-To Do-it-yourself guide to destroying the Earth is in the works. So many people out there who want to figure out how to build the button. But never press it. Heavens no.

Sam Hughes gives a careful, methodical analysis of how to destroy the Earth for real. Here’s the preamble:

Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.

You’ve seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You’ve heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.

Fools.

The Earth is built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you’ve had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.

This is not a guide for wusses whose aim is merely to wipe out humanity. I (Sam Hughes) can in no way guarantee the complete extinction of the human race via any of these methods, real or imaginary. Humanity is wily and resourceful, and many of the methods outlined below will take many years to even become available, let alone implement, by which time mankind may well have spread to other planets; indeed, other star systems. If total human genocide is your ultimate goal, you are reading the wrong document. There are far more efficient ways of doing this, many which are available and feasible RIGHT NOW. Nor is this a guide for those wanting to annihilate everything from single-celled life upwards, render Earth uninhabitable or simply conquer it. These are trivial goals in comparison.

This is a guide for those who do not want the Earth to be there anymore.

(read more)

Just came across mention of a movie about Klingon speakers called “Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water.” That’s a truly excellent title. There’s also bo logh, a Klingon language blog, which may be good or bad, it is hard to tell, as it is in Klingon. I asked our local Klingon advisor for translation. He just ranted on about blood and smiting, even for this cute entry. I think he’s bluffing…

It is remarkable how circular the blog world is. Case in point. Consider this 101 tips to improve your web presence article, which in tip number 87 gives:

87. “Link baiting” means writing some killer content that people will want to link to. Like a “101 Tips to Improve Your Web Presence” list!

I also like tip number 34:

34. Find quality and relevant blogs and leave a comment (with a link back to your site of course).

I see a lot of enthusiastic commenters followed that advice on the article itself.

Another nice pair of tips, so to speak, were 28 and 29:

28. Get a custom t-shirt made with your website url on it, and wear it often.
29. Ask a large breasted lady to wear one too.

Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose…