Within our HQ, the debate over the lolcat meme rages. Some feel it is just a passing fad. Some think it has changed our world forever. Some think lolcats are in owr branes, steelin owr thawts. Wherever the truth lies, they certainly make penguins look like parsons, prim and proper.

A penguin with a plan. Not a very good plan, I suspect. The intrepid web reporters are all over this breaking story. See, for example, t4td or penguinsandpolarbearsdontmix for sample coverage.

(warning: by “breaking story” we mean “more or less this decade”)

Our horde of rampaging penguins just got a face lift. Because just because you’re in a horde of slaveringly insatiable waterfowl, doesn’t mean you can’t look good.

It has been 15 years now since “The Noodle that Knew Remorse” came out. In that time, a lot has changed in the world. But the core insight of the Noodle remains valid: pasta plus passion equals drama. Try offering a bouquet of spaghetti to your loved one on Valentine’s day and you’ll see what I mean.

For those who haven’t read the Noodle (for shame!), here’s a review (full disclosure: the Broken Plank is a Dalek Bell holding):

Life. We don’t talk about it much but everyone knows it is there. Lurking. A shadowy figure that infiltrates every fiber of our being. But what do we really know about it?

This is the subject matter of Dalek Bell’s greatest novel, “The Noodle that Knew Remorse.” In this epic, Bell uses the metaphor of a thousand rampaging elephants for life. Frightening. Massively powerful. Perhaps not particularly rational. Something that is liable to pound you into the ground and squish you flat if you stand around analyzing it too long.

This contrasts strikingly with Bell’s metaphor for love, which is a thousand rampaging penguins. His thought processes in this instance are rather trickier to fathom. Perhaps he has a fondness for rampaging penguins, and who could blame him. Certainly, a horde of rampaging penguins unleashed on a major city can be, like love, all-consuming.

“What is this life thing anyway?” - The Broken Plank, 1998

I didn’t believe them. My people kept coming to me with charts and spreadsheets, but I would push them away. I just couldn’t, in my heart, truly believe there was a market for adopting a horde of rampaging penguins. Well, the sales reports just came in, and how wrong I was.

I still don’t understand it though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, penguins are cute, some of my best friends are penguins, I see the attraction there as much as the next guy, but come on. These penguins are hungry!

I guess the only lesson to draw from this is, sometimes I’m an idiot. I don’t really like that notion though, so I’ll obscure it behind some vague motivational prose about having faith in “the team”. That’s right, I should have more trust in my unerring ability to pick good people. That sounds a lot better…